And Still I Rise

This has been a tumultuous year.On the homefront a massive increase of violent crimes and drug related shootings threatened the serenity that people have grown to associate with this island.Regionally,natural disasters pounded us relentlessly with Grenada,Cayman Islands,Jamaica,Cuba,Haiti,The Dominican Republic all taking a beating from hurricanes or tropical storms.Dominica,also experienced an earthquake that damaged several buildings but thankfully no lives were lost.And then there was the devastating earthquake in the Indian Ocean and the resulting massive loss of lives.These figures about deaths are only count of bodies in hospitals, but we can see bodies everywhere on roads, inside buildings, buses, trains and even in the sea D. Indika, Colombo, Sri Lanka

World peace still seems as elusive as ever with some regions becoming more and more unstable.Videos of people being beheaded were distributed on the Net and in Iraq the fighting just keep continuing.At times it just seemed that the World was losing its humanity.

Caribbean people rejoiced with The ICC Champions trophy win and the medal winners in the Athens Olympics in a year that did not offer much to be happy about.Personally,its been a mixed year but still I have a lot to be thankful for.There are a lot of things I need to fix in my life like try to repair some broken relationships,try to stay healthier and generally be a better person than I was in 2004.

For 2005,my wish is that you all be blessed with good health,great friendships,good secure jobs,financial well being and all the good stuff.Many times things do not work out the way we wish they would,but still we got to keep persevering.I often remind myself of that,not that it is easy but you have to believe that we are here for a reason.Happy New Year everyone!

Am so tired of opening my email account only to find it has been flooded by you.Unfortunately,Hotmail has increased its size to 2mb which means it is more room for you to do your thing.SIGH!I even noticed you have somehow managed to infiltrate my gmail account as well.Nothing is sacred it seems!

Now,if the things you are advertising were of some use to me I would not mind so much. But, as it is right now they are pretty useless.I never thought Kami was a unisex name but judging from the mails that encourage me to try products that will give me few more inches of growth(no,not hair length),I must conclude that you think am a boy.Anyway,please give it up because am a female who does not want anything enlarged.Well,if you insist it would have been more applicable to send me some of the breast enhancement campaigns.Now,don't take it as an invitation because am just thinking out loud that you really don't seem to know your clientele.

It is getting close to end of year and the time for resolutions and all that good stuff.So,dear spammers how about resolving not to flood us all with your junk? You don't know how much we would appreciate that favour.

Thanks in advance.

Well I had a quiet Christmas.Woke up around 5.45 and decided I could lie down for 15 more minutes before getting up to catch 7 0 clock service.Next thing I knew the phone rang and when I looked at the clock it was 7.45 a.m.Normally, I don't miss church on Christmas Day so I was feeling rather annoyed at myself for oversleeping.Anyway, as I was the designated chef for the day I headed to the kitchen to prepare lunch.I stayed home for a bit to spend time with family members before taking off to meet some friends at around 3pm.

I woke up this morning to the shocking news of the 8.9 earthquake in the Indian Ocean. 8.9! That is one huge quake and understandably triggered off some killer waves.Makes you realise how fragile life is.One minute you here and the next moment you are gone,very,very sobering indeed.Definitely a sad occurrence in this festive season for those who lost loved ones and most likely have not yet grasped the full impact of what happened.I shudder to think what would have happened to the Caribbean if something like this were to hit us.Anyway,lets keep them in our prayers in this sad moment

Here's wishing everyone a wonderful Christmas Day and God's richest blessings for the season.Remember to do everything in moderation and enjoy the blessings of family and loved ones.

A few months back there was this human interest story on local tv that dealt with the way the homeless were treated when Ivan was expected to hit the island.The point of the story was they were totally forgotten by the authorities.There was this footage showing them huddled under galleries with some little bits of cardboard boxes etc.If this island had gotten any significant rain or wind they would have been there exposed to all the elements.

Now that it is Christmas time am hoping they are not forgotten again.Won't it be great if some organisation decided to give them a meal for Christmas? I think the Salvation Army does something along this line but am not sure if it deals specifically with the homeless.Sometimes I look at people and wonder what caused them to get to that stage.After all,at one point they more than likely had a family but somewhere along the line something got badly broken.Then,there is the new and disturbing trend of street kids where young children including girls are living on the streets.

As we celebrate the season I will like all of us to take some time out to remember those less fortunate than ourselves.And,if it is at all possible try and bring some cheer to their lives.

I got this in an email a while back but yesterday I learnt that my childhood friend is having a baby so I am sharing this with her and you as well.

Thoughts on Motherhood
>>
>>
>> A conversation between friends.....
>>
>> We are sitting at lunch when my friend casually mentions that she
>> and her husband are thinking of "starting a family". "We're taking a
>> survey," she says, half-joking.
>>
>> "Do you think I should have a baby?"
>>
>> "It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone
>> neutral.
>>
>> "I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more
>> spontaneous vacations...."
>>
>> But that is not what I meant at all.
>> I look at my friend, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her
>> to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to
>> tell
>> her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but that
>> becoming
>> a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she
>> will forever be vulnerable. I consider warning her that she will never
>> again read a newspaper
>> without asking "What if that had been MY child?"
>> That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her.
>> That when she sees pictures of starving children,
>> she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child
>> die. I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and
>> think
>> that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce
>> her
>> to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent
>> call
>> of "MOM!" will cause her to drop a souffle or her best crystal without
>> a
>> moment's hesitation. I feel I should warn her that no matter how many
>> years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally
>> derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day
>> she
>> will be
>> going into an important business meeting and she will think of her
>> baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of her
>> discipline
>> to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is alright.
>>
>> I want my friend to know that everyday decisions will no longer be
>> routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's
>> room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major
>> dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and
>> screaming
>> children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed
>> against
>> the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom.
>> However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess
>> herself
>> constantly as a mother.
>>
>> Looking at my attractive friend, I want to assure her that
>> eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will
>> never feel the same about herself. That her life, now so important,
>> will
>> be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give it
>> up in
>> a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more
>> years
>> - not to
>> accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish
>> theirs.
>>
>> I want her to know that a caesarean scar or shiny stretch marks
>> will become badges of honor. My friend's relationship with her
>> husband will change, but not in the way she thinks. I wish she could
>> understand how much more you can love a man
>> who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play
>> with his child. I think she should know that she willl fall in love
>> with
>> him again....for reasons she would now find very unromantic.
>>
>> I wish my friend could sense the bond she will feel with
>> women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and
>> drunk driving. I hope she will understand why I can think
>> rationally about most issues, but become temporarily insane when I
>> discuss the
>> threat of nuclear war to my children's future. I want to describe to
>> my
>> friend the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I
>> want to
>> capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur
>> of
>> a dog or a cat for the first time. I want her to taste the joy
>> that is so real, it actually hurts. My friend's quizzical look makes
>> me
>> realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it,"
>> I
>> finally say. Then I reach across the table, squeeze my friend's hand
>> and
>> offer a silent
>> prayer for her, and for me, and for all of the mere mortal women who
>> stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings. The blessed
>> gift
>> of God ........that of being a Mother.

Am off to Kingstown to finally do some gift shopping.I have narrowed down my list to about 8 people and I pretty much know what am going get most of them.So hopefully I would be able to get out in a reasonable time unless the bank lines are long.Am hoping that most people would have gone to the bank yesterday as it was payday.I also got my friend to buy me some things I needed yesterday so that my job would be easier today.

By the way anybody followed the story where a woman was killed and the baby cut from the womb? How more gruesome can one get! What I find surprising is that the killer was able to convince her husband that she was pregnant and not just pregnant but went full term.Were these people even living together?It is an all round sad story because both families lives have been changed forever.I wonder what was happening in the mind of that woman to conceive and execute such a plan.More questions than answers.

.

Yesterday,while putting up the tree I was listening to the radio but the funny thing was the announcer was playing R&B.Actually,it was some nice music but I didn't understand why with 6 days to Christmas the emphasis was not on Christmas music.I had the radio on for about 3 hrs and the only Christmas song they played was Every year,Every Christmas by Luther Vandross.

For traditional Christmas songs O holy night is my all time favourite closely followed by It came upon a midnight clear.I never get tired of hearing O Holy Night especially the Mariah Carey version. Those traditional songs make me remember my grandmother this time of year too.She had this beautiful voice which I envied and was always singing sacred songs.I rambling so back to the topic at hand.For modern music I like the Jackson 5 album,Kenny and Dolly,Stevie Wonder and closer to home the parang from Trinidad.Which song do you all just love?

When I was small(make that younger cos I still have not grown) one of the highlights of the season was what we called serenading or "sing outs". A choir,formal or informal would make the rounds to houses in the village and start singing on your doorstep.In between the singing a member of the choir would break into a speech which was usually very funny especially when it was the informal choirs.After the singing and the speeches the grown ups would give them money as well as drinks and food.Sadly,it seems to have died out but I think it is worthy of a revival.

Am finally getting into the Christmas cleaning.So this afternoon I decided to wash some cushion covers,clean the living room windows and scrub some mats.Scrubbing the mats was an adventure because earlier in the week I fell off a shelf and bruised several fingers.So getting the detergent on the cuts was no fun but I still decided to go through with it.I still have a few more to do but I am not sure am going to torture myself further.Tomorrow after church am going to tackle my room.Wish me luck!

Got some really good news today as well.My neighbor had been missing at sea since the 6th of Dec and everyone was beginning to assume that she was dead.Well, today the CoastGuard confirmed that they were found alive and well in Santo Domingo.An early Christmas gift I call it.

Finally, this morning I went to Nine Mornings(remember I told you all it is a festival where we count down to Cmas)and the MC called up 2 little girls on the stage for an impropmtu affair.He asked one of them what her favourite subject was and she replied Maths.So he said to her if your mother sends you to the shop to buy a dozen eggs and you get 6 how many more you need.Now,this girl who looked about 9 yrs old replied a dozen.I had to smile but then my teenaged students hardly any better.Please Lord,don't send her to my school in a few years time:)

Well it is just not any Friday,it is also end of term.Hooray!As usual my students results do not reflect the time and effort I spent on them but such is life.So now for the Christmas focus.Went to football on Sunday,SVG won Grenada 3/1 in the Digicel Cup.After football was finished I decided to spend a couple minutes browsing through some stores.I was very surprised to see the number of people packing the stores.Some of them even had to close their doors.Imagine it is not yet pay day and the place crammed so and on a Sunday to boot.It is definitely Christmas time!

I can well imagine what next week will look like.Not pretty at all but the business places not going to complain.So I have to decide real quick what am going to get and try to beat the last minute shoppers.That means I have to finish all my shopping by at least Mon the 20th.While am it I better start throwing some hints about what I want.Anything in the clothing or bags line is most welcome as are CD's.I know I am likely to get none of the above but at least I tried.Seriously though anything is welcomed except jewellery because that would most likely just lie around the house.

Anyway,yesterday I went and bought fruits to make some cakes.Yes,I can be domesticated.Now that school's finally out the bad part is the house cleaning.Sigh! So much for domestication.

A wake up call for women in relationships.Six little words -he's just not that into you, point out what most know but would rather deny.Last night I got to watch the authors on Larry King's show and while I found myself laughing at some parts I had to agree it was on point.

The show opened with a scene from Sex and the City with Miranda telling the girls about this man who kissed her but did not want to come in.So they sit there going through all the reasons why he was reluctant only to have Carrie's date point out that the man was just not that into her.

It is kinda amazing the way we excuse the obvious.It seems like the more obvious it is the more we try to convince ourselves that it will get better.I suppose it has to do with not wanting to acknowledge that the person you want just does not want you the same way.Not the easiest thing to accept at all because in those matters we always feel,wrongly I must add that the fault is ours.

Once upon a time I found myself in a similar situation.For a few months I was on this roller coaster and while I knew it was wrong my mindset was such that I was taking anything that looked remotely like love.Then one day the little remaining parts of self respect woke up and that was the end of everything.Then he decided that it was time to start being super attentive etc but it was too late. I had no intention of looking back at all.

Sometimes,you try to show friends that they sellling themselves short and it is not always taken the proper way.I figure that you just have to leave them to decide when enough is enough.Relationships are just too hard anyway.

Allison Hinds of Square One(Bajan soca band) has announced that end of month will be her farewell concert. The soca star has indicated that she would prefer to spend time with her new baby and husband."I don't intend to be an absentee mother, there are just too many 'firsts' to be missed. Me and his or her father want to spend as much time as possible bonding with the baby, and getting to know him or her. The first step, first smile, and so on, I don't want to miss them," Hinds said last year.

Allison was a truly dynamic perfomer and as the Bajans say she could really wuk up.I will miss her performances but I understand her decision.Walk good.

On another note Oneka Bostic the lead singer of the Antiguan Band Burning flames fighting for her life after being involved in a vehicular accident on Saturday.I hope she makes it

Friday morning the 28th homicide for the year was recorded.This time it was the murder of a husband and wife in true assassination style.It is a sordid story of drug running,kidnapping and possible murders.Because of the son's involvement in drugs the parents are now dead and the other members of the family are threatened with extinction.It gets worse with the news that the son's girlfriend as well as her father is missing.

Of the 28th deaths thus far most of them have been associated with the growing drug culture.I got to wonder when did this place become like this.To tell the truth I can't even narrow it down to any particular reason.True,some of it has to do with the economic situations as well as the get rich mentality.I can't even say it is a case of ignorance because a lot of the young guys have a secondary school education.

What I do know is the Government has to attempt to treat the causes.Recently,there was a programme where they were conducting random searches on vehicles in an attempt to recover illegal firearms.Anyway,that is just dealing with the problem at a micro level while ignoring the deeper problems.The sad thing is people are beginning to accept the killings as the norm.Where you would have been horrified previously the news now is hardly raising an eyebrow.

Pretty sad the way human life is being treated without regard.What will the count be come end of year?Your guess is as good as mine.

'Blog' No. 1 word of the year

Somebody sent me this news item which I must admit I had not seen before.I however noticed that Msn now has blog service.I guess it is more motivation for all bloggers to keep blogging:)

The thing about blogging is that sometimes you not sure what to blog about.I find myself caught between how personal I should make it as some things I would rather reserve for the old fashioned journal.I have been keeping journals for a number of years and they make some interesting reading.I tell you sometimes I can't believe the things I used to stress about and I end up laughing at some of it.Other stuff much more serious but it is all good still because I can measure my improvements.

Anyway,it is a lot of fun reading people's viewpoints and getting a peep into their personal lives.So keep the blog fires burning and add some spicy details to satisfy my curious self:)

Friday night was a reminder of why at age 25 I no longer find the club scene that appealing.Me and a few of my friends decided to make it an all girls lime,something we had not done recently.So we decided to go to this club in favour of a pool hall.

We got there,saw a few friends and acquaintances,mingled and made small talk.Not bad so far.Well,actually the cigarette smoke was beginning to be a bit of an annoyance but nothing that was that terrible.Anyway,we there having a good time,dancing with some guys we knew etc.After a while am standing by the bar when this man comes over to me.

Him: Hello
Me: Hello.
He then goes on to ask me if he can get me a drink.No thank you, was my reply.
Him: Do you want to dance?
Me: No,I don't .
Him:So why are you here then?
Me(thinking to myself)well obviously not to dance with you but I decided to ignore the comment. After he realised I was not about to take up his offer he said He did not have any more time to waste on a bitch like me.

Now,that was one comment I was not going to leave unanswered.So I said in my bitchiest way-Thank God for small mercies.I did not wait to hear what was his response because I was already moving away from his ignorant self.Makes me wonder though why everytime a girl does something that is contrary to what some men expect then she is a bitch.Well,if am doing something I want and it makes me a bitch am happy being one.But seriously ,am a little too old to be dealing with those remarks.

And to crown it all off a fight broke out in the club.I can't tell what triggered it but I saw bottles flying and people scampering to get out of the way.That was enough motivation to head on out of there.I must really be getting old because at that point staying home and watching some tv never looked better.

Laptops are dangerous to your health.So guys try and find a place other than your lap to put the laptop.Kinda confusing but I know y'all will do anything to protect the precious jewels,right?

On another note anybody watched Rockets/Spurs last night?What an exciting end to the game! Rockets won so am even more thrilled.I actually did not think they were going to pull it off trailing by 7 with 54 seconds to go but Tracy Mcgrady brought it home with 13 pts including four 3 pointers in 35 seconds.Am still amazed.

Last time I blogged about this tv show it set off a chain of events that I found rather pathetic.Anyway an episode I saw recently was where Rory's grandparents were trying to get her to meet the "right type"of young men.By that,they mean sons of their wealthy acquaintances who are Ivy league schooled and upwardly mobile.So they threw this party and Rory was introduced to all these potential young suitors.

Immediately, I had flashbacks of being auctioned off in a similar manner to what one family member thought was the appropriate type of guy I should be going out with.A typical evening would go something like this.A young man would come to the house and he'd be introduced as John Henry(fictitious name)25 yrs old,drives a Mercedes or some other high end car and makes x amount of dollars annually.They were always promoted as a step up from the "losers" I was interested in.

Needless to say I always resented the intrusion and the feeling that I was being auctioned off to the highest bidder.Sometimes for the heck of it I would go out on the token date but would incur more displeasure when I inevitably went back to my "loser" crowd.

Mind you my "loser" crowd was neither the bad boy type,uneducated,druggie,blue collar etc.It just came down to their not making enough money or seemingly not progressing fast enough.The amusing thing was that at 20/21 I was not looking for any husband or for a "sugar daddy" so the material things were not even an issue.While I accept that relatives want the best(or their version of it) for their family members they often use some methods that are tactless and just serve to antagonize.So,don't make it that obvious,just do an intro and leave things to progress on its own.That way you lessen the chances of just being a total annoyance.

Landlord offers Rosa Parks apartment rent-free and I say thanks for allowing her to live out the rest of her days in dignity.

I have tremendous respect for Miss Parks and her quiet act of resistance that was the catalyst for the Montgomery bus boycott which ended in the Supreme Court ruling that segregation was unconstitutional.

With regard to that Outkast lawsuit I have a suspicion that either her lawyer or caretakers pushing their own agenda.Not too sure how a woman suffering from dementia can really take the initiative in a law suit.

Ever wondered why women cheat? Well,wonder no more.It's genetic according to this study.

I can picture some men going through the family tree with a fine comb to see how it stacks up genetically:)

I don't know if any of you noticed the Christmas ads on tv.Well,being the tv junkie that I am it has not escaped my attention.Anyway,there is this jingle by the US Postal Service that has caught my attention.One of the lines goes something like this-Am a gonna mail my self to you.Somehow it touched a chord in me because it just brings back memories of the 4 long years I was away from home and all things familiar at Christmas time.You know how many times I literally wished I could package myself home!

Being away from home around Christmas time is a special kind of torture.It is even worse when you in some cold place and nothing feels like the Christmas you have grown accustommed to. That is when homesickness would kick in even harder and you miss the sunshine and the warmth even more.I tell you I was missing things I never particularly liked when I was home.Actually,Christmas in the US was a rather low keyed event compared to Thanksgiving.For some strange reason I never seemed to feel really warm even though I was usually well layered up and that just made me grouchier.

First time I understood the meanings of those songs like Blue Christmas etc and on the other hand I understood what Silver Bells meant.Looking back on it I guess it was a learning experience but still I would rather spend Christmas in the Caribbean than any where else.And by the way it is true,Christmas is meant to be spent with family and loved ones.

On another note today is Jdid bday.So nuff love and birthday wishes to him.Y'all are commanded to go over and wish him a great day:)

Despite all the evidence to the contrary a lot of people still walk around feeling that HIV is a disease that belongs exclusively to one group of people(gays).Even worse they believe that to contract HIV the person must have been promiscuous because HIV does not happen to the nice persons with the one partner and the 2.5 children.Nothing could be further from the truth as all it takes is one unprotected encounter.

Meantimewomen make up almost half the persons living with HIV As a region the Caribbean is second only to Sub Saharan Africa in terms of infection.It means that there is a lot of work to be done to arrest the spread of this disease.It threatens to destroy our communities with children being orphaned and grandmothers left to be the primary care giver.Naturally it is the most productive age groups that fall prey leaving a depleted work force.

We owe it to ourselves to get all the facts and to act on them.It follows that we must try our best to make the right choices and limit our chances of getting infected.Our very lives depend on it