Thursday, May 26, 2005

 

What's love got to do with it?

Suppose a man/woman is crazy about you but you don't feel the same way.The catch is that the person does not mind-and will be happy once you are with them(or so they claim).
Do you go along because there is a saying that goes "you pick the person who loves you and not necessarily the one you love" ? If you do,will you regret giving up the idea of love for "security".

Let's hear your thoughts.

Comments:
That way dost hell lie. No matter what the person says in the short term there is always the latent expectation that you'd grow into loving them. This rarely happens. More often both parties end up short-changed and embittered.
 
Doesn't make sense Kami....love is mutual. If the other party does not share the same feelings it doh mek sense. Continue the search, eventually one will find someone who shares the same feelings. Dr. D.
 
NO WAY!!! It nuh work so at all. If it's not mutual then there are going to be problems. Eventually both are going to feel trapped and overshadowed.
It has to be a mutual thing....
 
so ya trying ta say ya doan love me, cuhdear I'm crushed lol

seriously though I agree with the other comments although I do think that one can grow to love someone if they love you.
 
Of course mi love ya:)
 
Can't agree with this Kami, they say it's better to live and love than to never love at all..............some skunt like that, anyway it's too big a sacrifice if yuh ask me, there's no way i could marry someone who's in love with me but i can't reciprocate the feeling or vice versa.
 
so u love jDid.. not me :( hehe.. :)

Well you never know when and how you fall in love.. When you did, you just know it
 
Now she says she loves Jdid and not me :( I'm crushed, damaged, scarred for life......
oh welll...life....
 
Y'all too jealous.By the way I agree with Jdid on the growing to love bizniz.Y'all don't think it worth a risk?
 
Nope...too big a risk. If you want to take a chance then at least agree to a prolonged courtship and see....
 
Kami..dat's why de divorce courts suh full nowadays, too many wimmen setteling fuh security. Mek yuh own security. Love is a two way street and sometimes more.. Don't settle.
 
Camp...de way how some people married and divorce quick quick nowadays...you soon may not need any divorce court or lawyer...a mere swipe of a plastic card might do...who get which assets and custody of pickney print out on the transaction slip! :-0 Dr. D.
 
:p
 
Kami, tell your friend doh shortchange herself. Thats what I think. Imagine she takes up with this man and then she bucks Mr. Right! Wot a calamity! Tell herDoh do it Kami, she not to do it! I say her and she becuz I know you wouldn't consider any such thing! You're a romantic and would never give up on love. You'll wait on Jdid, I know it!
 
Love does not EXIST… By that I mean it is not tangible… it doesn’t float out there somewhere waiting to be picked. It is a feeling that is conjured in the mind, created and developed from knowing someone over time. If the brain is ‘normal’… it will respond to stimuli, a relationship usually starts with a physical attraction to someone, you make the move to meet them out of the curiosity of where it could lead… if that relationship develops, it is usually because the other person displays their affection openly, a normal person will respond with like feelings as it progresses. There are many things that can hamper the process… At the risk of sounding sexist… the old saying that ‘it is better for a woman to marry a man who loves her, than a man she loves,’ is aimed at opening eyes to a common problem that is shared by many women… that is, the Cinderella complex [the idea that Prince Charming is coming to sweep her away to a life of luxury and happiness…]
In order for love to flourish between two people who are neither parent or child, it must be given leeway, any preconceptions, limitations or rules laid down prior, will hinder it’s development.
Many women overlook or deny themselves the ‘love of their lives’ by leaving him in the ‘friend zone’ because they tell themselves that they don’t want to ‘ruin’ the friendship… but what is friendship, if not ‘love’ without sex?
The concept of ‘love’ as a be-all-end-all thing is obsolete… love has a lifecycle… it must be conceived, born, and nurtured to develop… it may also get old, sick, or die… it happens… not trying something for ‘fear’ that it may not work, is a childish trait… adults are meant to take some risks and deal with the consequences of their decisions… nothing ventured…
People who believe that love is held in the heart, know little of anatomy, that’s just an analogy inferring that it cannot be fully explained by most people… that there are mitigating forces that transcend basic logical thought patterns… love is not simply another emotion… it is intimidating because it is a complex collection of all your emotions constantly embattled… fear, trust, joy, anxiety, hope, one big free-for-all twister game in the dark…
If one wants to know who loves them… that’s obvious… but if you want to know who you love… ask yourself who evokes all your emotions over time, yet you still want to be around them… then have sex… er… if you’re not related…
 
Do I win 'longest comment ever?'
 
Definitely longest comment ever.But plenty sense in it
 
No mi dear ma'am... what good is this person saying they love you when yuh nuh feel di same way? You'd end up hurting the person and hurting yourself.
 
well, i think of arranged marriage where neither party is necessarily in love with the other, and these marriages often last a long time.

i don't believe you have to love someone to be with them, but you do have to like them an awful lot. because it's the liking that gets you through the rough spots. when you marry your friend, you have a friend who weathers the hard times with you. i have seen too many people marry for love/passion/romance and then when things fall apart they have nothing to stand on.

perhaps i'm taking your question way out of context but it might be quite elementary: if you don't see anything developing with that person, then don't get involved. people get into relationships to "see where they lead," and if you can't see it happening on a lont-term basis, then don't even bother.

that's my two cents. : )
 
and my aunts live by the adage "make sure the other person loves you more"... and they've all been married for more than 30 years, so perhaps they know of what they speak...
 
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