Thursday, November 05, 2009


Thank you Rihanna

I thought I was done with the whole Rihanna/ Chris Brown story but news that Rihanna finally broke her silence has once again grabbed my attention. Plus anybody who has ever read my blog knows that the issue of violence is my platform. I did not see the interview but caught a soundbite or two on the TV guide channel and read and heard other people's comments.

The thing that annoys me the most is the number of young girls and women who by their comments are giving Chris Brown a pass for his vicious attack on Rihanna. Could you imagine a bunch of teenagers best defence was Rihanna was lying about the attack and if it did happen she asked for it. Sorry but this is as stupid as saying a woman asked to be raped because her clothes were too revealing or any of the other assorted bullshit that people say. For the miseducated here are some chilling facts from the UN Org site.

At least one out of every three women around the world has been beaten, coerced into sex, or otherwise abused in her lifetime. The abuser is usually someone known to the victim.

In 2002, the Council of Europe declared violence against women a public health emergency and a major cause of death and disability for women 16 to 44 years of age. A World Bank report estimated that violence against women was as serious a cause of death and incapacity among women of reproductive age as cancer, and a greater cause of ill-health, than traffic accidents and malaria combined. A 2003 report by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) estimates that the costs of intimate partner violence in the United States alone exceed $5.8 billion per year: $4.1 billion in direct medical and health care services and almost $1.8 billion in productivity losses.

If I am to believe all the nonsense that is spouted then I must believe that all these women asked for it. Is this really the way we want to address this scourge by making the victims the criminal? Enough already! Go and re-read those statistics and tell me if violence against women is not an issue that demands urgent attention. We already know that fear and shame keep the abused silent but I'd add that a judgemental society also aids in the silence. Therefore any voice out there that calls attention to this epidemic is welcomed. Thank you Rihanna for speaking out and I truly hope you are strong enough to keep walking.

It's good that she spoke out. It was needed especially for young women. It's crazy that young girls are in physically abusive relationships and think that it is normal.

It seems as if alot of people are annoyed (when you read blogs etc) that she didn't do it early and not until she's promoting her new album.

But all in all, better late than never.
we just talked about fallen idols this week in class - i used chris browne as an example... i assumed that he was a fallen idol for my students... more than half the class defended him...

i was stunned...
I agree with u.
Recently in my office we were discussing BeBE winans who pushed his ex wife down. and the ladies in the office supported the man pushing down his former wife saying she deserved it....she pissed the man off.
I was shocked but not amazed.

Just a pity we think that way.
Welcome corve. I don't get it all so I conclude we really don't like ourselves. Can't understand why anyone would excuse the inexcusable
In otherwise friendly circumstances and in the company of an otherwise reasonable friend...she commented that she was tired of the whole thing and Rihanna needed to get over it.

I was in utter shock as I looked at the seriousness of her face, weighing the burden of her words. Her boyfriend (this was ironic that he spoke out and not her) said "when a woman's eye is three times the size it normally is and discoloured all because her man was pissed, that is something for her (meaning Rihanna) to speak out about."

I gently reminded her that the media pundits and talk show gurus were the ones talking 24/7 about the incident while Rihanna high-tailed to Barbados...amazingly she shrugged..she still could not get it...
Yes, I find from the persons I talk to that more men are sympathetic to Rihanna than women. Hmmmmm.

Another pearl is Rihanna should let it go because it happened once. Of course thie means it would never happen again.
It's thinking like that that perpetuates such behaviour and abuse of women.
This saddens me all around. I expected a huge backlash against the man, and am surprised at the fact that he is still actively revered, and people are making excuses for his behaviour. As long as this mentality continues, violence against women will always be a problem, and abused women will refuse to speak out.

I refuse to listed to a note that he sings, watch his half assed interviews, and am lobbying for my brother to chnge his name from "Chris" as it offends me.

It seems to be an individual campaign though, for no one seems to be tekking me in, especially my brother.
Afoditee? Bless my eyesight. Happy to see you are back,missed you lots
I agree with your comments. Our justice system is so backwards, I wonder if his sentence would have been harsher if he was not a celebrity?? One reason I hate celebrities, they can get away with murder, literally!
i remember a case in Trinidad where a man chopped up his common-law wife and scattered her remains all across the East Dry River. His lawyer explained to the Magistrate that his client was "provoked" into the actions by his wife's infidelity.

The magistrate "understood" and gave the man 3 (count them 3!) years in jail for chopping this woman to death and ill-treating her remains.

It is the crime that we do not want to deal with, we do not want to face and for many women, if they were to accept that Rhianna had done nothing to deserve her beating, then it would mean that they, we, are all vulnerable to being beaten by our partner. This is what many women do not want to face, so, in order to protect themselves from the reality that it could happen to any one of them, they blame the victim. "She caused it. It's her fault" And silently to themselves, "I know it couldn't happen to me because I wouldn't do what she did..."

And with that comfortable thought, many women move on...until it happens to them and they learn better.
I was really surprised as well by how many people defended him. I mean I used to like his music and his dancing but damn what he did was so wrong and indefensible in my opinion.

At first it seemed like it was more of a cultural issue though. Americans were defending him and saying this likkle island girl conspire to bring him down but then i started seeing west indians also siding with him and i'm like what the hell.
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