Monday, February 16, 2009


This violence thing

Growing up I was exposed to violence. My grandfather hit my grandmother, my mother's husband hit her as did my aunt's husband. Each event angered, annoyed, terrified and confused me but I always escaped to the comfort of a book or the skirts/arms of some rescuer.

All of the above females I consider some of the strongest people I have ever met. My grandmother raised generations of children on very little but the bigness of her heart and the belief in casting your bread on the water. As the wife of an oft transferred headteacher her life was nomadic but she survived his alcoholism and brutality to nurture her children to becom e upstanding ciitizens.

My mother and aunt blazed trails of excellence, strong beyond belief beautiful women but incapable of preventing abuse at the hands and lips of the men they chose. I say all this to say that sometimes it is difficult being a woman. Too often we fall victims to those we thought would be our protectors. Too often we walk around with heads bowed-beaten down by the weight of words and fists instead of glorying in our womanhood.

That Rihanna is now the face of domestic abuse should drive home the point that abuse knows no boundaries. It is not confined to the poor, the uneducated, or God forbid those who society says deserves it. The face of domestic abuse is the woman sitting next to you in church, the bank teller who deals with your transactions, the beauty queen strutting her stuff , the little child with the haunted eyes and you. Sadly, it is often kept as a dirty dark secret. If this Rihanna incident could be a catalyst for attention to the nameless, faceless women who suffer silently then I'd be happy.

wow... abuse is such a vicious cycle as well... it is a learned behaviour - both the perpetration of it, and the acceptance... and no matter how strong a personality a woman is, as you've so clearly said through your own personal experience, sometimes the balance of power in relationships trumps all other facets of someone's personality...
will,to their credit they walked away but it is strange how things happen. I believe domestic violence is commonplace to the Cbean so I get a bit upset when people talk endlessly abt Rihanna as if they have just found their voices.

On another note, I seem to be in a very sharing mood this week..must be all the Valentineness in the air:)
yes it does seem to be something that is particularly virulent in the cbean... which is one of the things that makes the rihanna incident so sad...

a sharing mood eh... huh... well i can't wait for your next post then!!! :-)
Abeni, your tale can apply to any family in SVG. I can easily relate but instead of continuing the trend of abuse, some children grow to be emotionally distant and refuse to stick aound to try and work at any sign of difficulties / stress in a relationship.

I hope Ms Fenty does not return to that relationship whether the young man get professional help or not.

It is appalling to read the blogs where women claim there are instances when a woman deserves to get "hit" by her male counterpart.

I am a sucker for young love and happy endings.
Ha @will,not going to be about virginity soap and all those mindnumbing things which I leave you to expound on that:)

I am considering life at GHS as seen through the eyes of my friend.She told me going to GHS was a culture shock-worse than her move to Toronto. It was quite eye opening but I guess I can see where she is coming from.

@ anon,either route is a tragedy eh. sometimes. I observe children behaviour and I am certain things not what it seems in their homes.
well said, such is life sadly. hopefully something good will come of this rhuanna thing
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