Saturday, April 22, 2006


Violence against women

If the reports are to be believed then at least seven women within the Belair/Arnos Vale area have been raped recently.It is unclear whether the rapes have been the work of one person so I will stop short of saying we have a serial rapist on our hands.Either way the situation is very worrying since rape inevitably leaves in its wake a host of emotional scarrings.Am not in any way discounting the physical scars but when those are long healed the emotional ones linger.

I have noticed that most times there is any mention of rape it always comes down to the woman being blamed.How many times have we heard "she was asking for it dressed like that".Or,the woman blames herself thinking she somehow may have provoked the rape or if she had put more of a struggle maybe it won't have happened.In all this the responsibility for the crime gets shifted and the perpetrator's life continues as normal.

So,it was pleasing to stumble on this site during one of my random web searches.It really is a group founded in D.C by a handful of men seeking to raise their own and the community's consciousness about men's violence against women. Today it is a concerned community of men and women of all ages, from many walks of life, working locally and nationally for peace, equity and gender justice.

From their mission statement comes these excerpts:

We do not believe men's violence is inevitable. We believe that rape, battering, and other forms of men's violence are learned behaviors, choices that men make to exert power and control over others that are reinforced by a society that defines manhood through domination.

We believe that men can unlearn these damaging lessons and live peacefully with women and other men. To do so, however, we must redefine what it means to be a man.


I appreciated your post... I am not too much aware your cultural circumstances and the way men and women relate...
I have no idea (yet)what kind of perspective is taught on being man/woman within the context of your culture and even church. There is the problem of the macho culture and perspective which is found around the world also in churches... God hates that.. and those kind of teachings of un-biblical submission influence the behavior and thinking of so many men... so they want to be in controle. If they feel powerless they use violence... if they feel powerless they want to controle. The media feeds (much through mtv and other channels like that), the street rap; a perspective that dehumanizes women and makes them the subject of that kind of abuse... I work with many immigrant teenagers in Stockholm... they display these kinds of attitudes and are formed in their thinking and acting by musicians who look down on women as objects to be used...
Let us also start boycotting these kind sources if we mean business with the issue... I will continmue to address it in churches as well!
Warm greetings, john
Very thought provoking. This subject probes very deeply into the inner crevices of my soul because a feamle member of my family has experienced this violent mind-numbing, de-humanizing act. I won't say mich more here about that, except that this knowledge and history has led me to the conclusion that for from the male point of view, this act is about power and control.

Maybe one day I will tell you more..

If you check my blog you will see that I kinna dealt with this subject kinna in my piece on Oprah.

I think it is b/c she and others like her write and speak about male violence and physical dominance in the "black community" that they are so disliked. We need an honest discussion about this issues instead of finger pointing. Hope those who talk about it in their work or those who make it their lifes work will finally prevail for all our daugthers' (those born and unborn, those yet to come) sake.
I think that a man raping a woman is a real form of cowardness and weakness. I can only imagine what women go through. The people who rape are sick bastards who should be sentenced to hang by their penises, or chop their penises off with a guillotine. Well, that's what I would do if I were Prime Minister.
Thats awful about the rapes. Some men believe they have a right to a woman's body. And Arnos Vale is likely to be a venue for the upcoming World Cup cricket.
ok agree that rape is very bad, attitudes need to change and there are some sick individuals out there who do these things but lets not generalize to make it seem as if its a majority of men out there raping. What percentage of men are rapists? Its a very small minority perpetrating these crimes.

Maybe we cant address them without addressing men in general but lets not think that every man is a potential rapist.
I didn't get the sense that anyone was generalizing about all men.Naturally,its the percentage that carry out the acts that needs addressing.Frankly,women get generalised far more than men when ever there is mention of rape.But the idea is for men and women to deal with the problem and see how together they can reduce instances of rape.
Rapists are not men, but monsters.
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