Monday, November 28, 2005
Joys of womanhood
Ever felt being a woman(childbirth,periods etc) was the rotten end of the deal? Well cheer up cos after reading this the men will wish they were women too.
1. When a ship sinks, women (and children) get off first.
2. A woman can hug her best friend without worrying she'll think she's gay.
3. Women can talk to attractive members of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
4. A woman can never be blamed if it's wet on the floor around the toilet bowl.
5. If a woman cheats on her spouse everyone will assume it's because she was being emotionally neglected.
6. Women are capable of doing at least two different things to a passable standard at the same time.
7. Women live longer than men.
8. Women know how to cover up spots and other facial blemishes.
9. If a woman inexplicably disappears for two weeks, one of her friends will notice.
10. Women mature earlier than men (some men never mature at all).
11. There are times when chocolate is really the answer to all woman's problems.
12. Women don't feel uncomfortable with gay waiters or hairdressers.
13. A woman can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
14. Women know the truth about whether size matters...
15. A woman can take a drive without trying to beat her best time.
16. If a woman forgets to shave, no-one has to know.
17. Women are capable of going longer than five minutes without thinking about either sex or football.
18. Women never lust after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.
19. Women can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
20. Women can cry and get off a speeding ticket.
21. A woman can get a whole new lease on life just by changing her lipstick.
22. A woman can congratulate her team-mate without ever touching her rear.
23. Women don't have to worry about catching anything important in their zipper.
24. If a woman says something stupid, most men will just think she's cute.
25. Women can admit to others when they've made a mistake
26. If a woman cries, she's sensitive; if a man cries, he's a wimp.
27. Women know who their children are without having a DNA test.
28. It's cool to be a daddy's girl. It's sad to be a mummy's boy.
29. Women can wear platforms - which is why there is no such thing as a short woman's complex.
30. Women can watch one TV channel at a time without getting bored.
31. Women have total control over their eyebrows.
32. Women can get drunk quicker and cheaper than men.
33. A woman's friend won't try to persuade her to get a tattoo while she's drunk.
34. A woman won't drive to Hell and back before she asks for directions.
35. Women aren't covered with hair like shag carpeting.
36. Woman don't feel threatened if their partner earns more than they do.
37. For women, a new season means a whole new wardrobe.
38. Women know exactly what buttons to push to get exactly what they want.
39. Women don't think reading the manual is a betrayal of all their species stands for.
40. Women can keep pot plants alive for more than a week.
1. When a ship sinks, women (and children) get off first.
2. A woman can hug her best friend without worrying she'll think she's gay.
3. Women can talk to attractive members of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
4. A woman can never be blamed if it's wet on the floor around the toilet bowl.
5. If a woman cheats on her spouse everyone will assume it's because she was being emotionally neglected.
6. Women are capable of doing at least two different things to a passable standard at the same time.
7. Women live longer than men.
8. Women know how to cover up spots and other facial blemishes.
9. If a woman inexplicably disappears for two weeks, one of her friends will notice.
10. Women mature earlier than men (some men never mature at all).
11. There are times when chocolate is really the answer to all woman's problems.
12. Women don't feel uncomfortable with gay waiters or hairdressers.
13. A woman can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
14. Women know the truth about whether size matters...
15. A woman can take a drive without trying to beat her best time.
16. If a woman forgets to shave, no-one has to know.
17. Women are capable of going longer than five minutes without thinking about either sex or football.
18. Women never lust after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.
19. Women can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
20. Women can cry and get off a speeding ticket.
21. A woman can get a whole new lease on life just by changing her lipstick.
22. A woman can congratulate her team-mate without ever touching her rear.
23. Women don't have to worry about catching anything important in their zipper.
24. If a woman says something stupid, most men will just think she's cute.
25. Women can admit to others when they've made a mistake
26. If a woman cries, she's sensitive; if a man cries, he's a wimp.
27. Women know who their children are without having a DNA test.
28. It's cool to be a daddy's girl. It's sad to be a mummy's boy.
29. Women can wear platforms - which is why there is no such thing as a short woman's complex.
30. Women can watch one TV channel at a time without getting bored.
31. Women have total control over their eyebrows.
32. Women can get drunk quicker and cheaper than men.
33. A woman's friend won't try to persuade her to get a tattoo while she's drunk.
34. A woman won't drive to Hell and back before she asks for directions.
35. Women aren't covered with hair like shag carpeting.
36. Woman don't feel threatened if their partner earns more than they do.
37. For women, a new season means a whole new wardrobe.
38. Women know exactly what buttons to push to get exactly what they want.
39. Women don't think reading the manual is a betrayal of all their species stands for.
40. Women can keep pot plants alive for more than a week.
# posted by Abeni @ 6:34 PM 
Comments:
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"Women don't think reading the manual is a betrayal of all their species stands for."
YES!!! I mean really guys, what is that all about, hmmm?
YES!!! I mean really guys, what is that all about, hmmm?
Okay, you have some good points, but:
2. I can hug my best friend too - she's a woman. She's glad I'm not gay.
3. You make that sound like a bad thing. I'm confused. :)
4. That's called marking your territory.
5. Nahh, we know she's a ho, we're just too polite to say.
6. We can, but then we'd have to like, work. Duh.
7. Yeah, but if you live with a woman, it seems like it's a lot longer.
8. We grow hair, then distract you with our pot bellies.
13. We can assess a woman by looking at her jacked-up feet in her shoes.
15. Then what's the point?
23. Good point. You stone got me there. Ow.
24. No, we're just too busy looking at her boobs to notice what she said.
25. Men don't make misteks. Mistakes.
27. We know who are child's mother is without a DNA test.
32. Damn! Got me there too.
34. Most women already know the way to Hell. They drive men there all the time.
37. For men, a new season means one more chance at the championship.
38. Men know what buttons to push to blow up the planet.
39. Manual? We don' need no stinkin' manual!
40. Damn. Women always get the last word.
Love you.
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2. I can hug my best friend too - she's a woman. She's glad I'm not gay.
3. You make that sound like a bad thing. I'm confused. :)
4. That's called marking your territory.
5. Nahh, we know she's a ho, we're just too polite to say.
6. We can, but then we'd have to like, work. Duh.
7. Yeah, but if you live with a woman, it seems like it's a lot longer.
8. We grow hair, then distract you with our pot bellies.
13. We can assess a woman by looking at her jacked-up feet in her shoes.
15. Then what's the point?
23. Good point. You stone got me there. Ow.
24. No, we're just too busy looking at her boobs to notice what she said.
25. Men don't make misteks. Mistakes.
27. We know who are child's mother is without a DNA test.
32. Damn! Got me there too.
34. Most women already know the way to Hell. They drive men there all the time.
37. For men, a new season means one more chance at the championship.
38. Men know what buttons to push to blow up the planet.
39. Manual? We don' need no stinkin' manual!
40. Damn. Women always get the last word.
Love you.
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