Thursday, September 29, 2005

 

Seven year itch

Dear Husband:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone.
P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life! Your EX-Wife


Dear Ex-Wife
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So
when I discovered that I had hit th e lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.
Signed Rich As Hell and Free!

Comments:
Alrighty then!
 
Too funny! I love it.
 
lol@ that.

that sounds like something i read off of jokes2000.com
 
lol, i like dat wun
 
I know it's a joke but what about the person that happens too who doesn't win the lotto?

It's not the money, it's the frame of mind that makes the difference...
 
Doc,I got it in an email
 
A dat fi happen to her, she too wicked!
 
Holla "We want pre-nup! Yeahhh!"!
 
LOL!!! Da one deh good!
 
Love it love it love it...lol, she moved to West Virginia? that's where I'm at! I wonder if I does know she :D
 
LOL!!! I love that one!
 
Now that was damn funny...
 
that was so cold.
 
hey there
i think that small island girl is a bitch, and i think that your fucking hilarious, and that you don't deserve a clingy bitch like that. if you don't mind me saying lol
 
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