Friday, February 04, 2005
Of lending money
My mother always told me that when I lend money to anyone there is no guarantee am getting it back.Therefore,I should only lend sums that am willing to treat as grants.Needless to say I have not always followed her advice.So,I find myself lending people money and in many instances not getting it back.You would think I'd have learnt my lesson by now,right? No,I still have not(marshallow side again)
So here is what is bothering me.Any of you ever noticed that people who owe you suddenly develop memory loss?They would talk to you about everything under the sun except the fact that they owe you.Actually,they would even ask you for other favours while still having outstanding debts.
I don't know if this happens to anyone else but I find myself being somewhat reluctant to ask for monies owed.I still have not figured out exactly why that is so(no,am not rich.Part of me feels that I should not have to remind anyone to repay their debt and stupid as this sounds I guess there is some kinda embarrassment involved.But why should I even feel embarrassed to ask for what is mine?I just don't know.
Anyway,the point of all this rambling is that one of my very good friends owes me what I consider a considerable amount.Recently she took a loan to cover some expenses she had and as is our custom we discussed at length the best way to use the money.It was not until much later that it dawned on me that she made no mention of what she owed me.Now,I don't think that she has forgotten so why the silence?From our conversations I know she has enough money to settle with me.So I reminded her of her debt and would you know am still waiting to have it settled.
So here is what is bothering me.Any of you ever noticed that people who owe you suddenly develop memory loss?They would talk to you about everything under the sun except the fact that they owe you.Actually,they would even ask you for other favours while still having outstanding debts.
I don't know if this happens to anyone else but I find myself being somewhat reluctant to ask for monies owed.I still have not figured out exactly why that is so(no,am not rich.Part of me feels that I should not have to remind anyone to repay their debt and stupid as this sounds I guess there is some kinda embarrassment involved.But why should I even feel embarrassed to ask for what is mine?I just don't know.
Anyway,the point of all this rambling is that one of my very good friends owes me what I consider a considerable amount.Recently she took a loan to cover some expenses she had and as is our custom we discussed at length the best way to use the money.It was not until much later that it dawned on me that she made no mention of what she owed me.Now,I don't think that she has forgotten so why the silence?From our conversations I know she has enough money to settle with me.So I reminded her of her debt and would you know am still waiting to have it settled.
# posted by Abeni @ 6:40 PM 
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the silent treatment? at least you get to see them. the debtors fake heart attacks when they see me coming. duck season. Once the grace period is over I ask sly ones for my shish kibab. or send the rugged boys.
you want me come break her legs? I kno people who know people :-)
Can I also apply for a loan from the national bank of abeni?
Actually my course two monday's ago one of the scenarios we played out was similar to yours where a workmate borrowed money from you and wouldnt repay. There was this one girl who said well this is not what you guys would want me to do but this is what I"d do. I'd ask her a few times and if she doesnt repay me I'm telling everyone in the office and then if we ever go out to lunch and that sort of thing I'm asuming she's covering the bill. mind you we were taking about relatively small quantities of cash.
Can I also apply for a loan from the national bank of abeni?
Actually my course two monday's ago one of the scenarios we played out was similar to yours where a workmate borrowed money from you and wouldnt repay. There was this one girl who said well this is not what you guys would want me to do but this is what I"d do. I'd ask her a few times and if she doesnt repay me I'm telling everyone in the office and then if we ever go out to lunch and that sort of thing I'm asuming she's covering the bill. mind you we were taking about relatively small quantities of cash.
That kinda situation can create so much tension. I've stopped lendin' people money, except in "life & death" situations. Number one, ah can't afford it, number two, money an' friendship is a hard mix. I'd stay on her about de money, Kami, don't mek she get away.
Jdid,it seems as if am a bank fuh real.Marshamallow side,I tell you.Melody,I intend to get it back if only on a matter of principle.
Kami, you and I are in the same boat. Suckers!! It's a good thing that most of the time I don't have large amounts to lend. I have lost quite a bit over time I guess. I have only on one asked back for the money. It was uncomfortable and embarrassing but it had to be done.
In situations like these Peter does have to pay fuh Paul, so when Peter come asking fuh money, you remember dat Paul still owe yuh some and then yuh tell Peter dat you don't have it to lend, eventhough you do and Peter really needs it.
In my situation. I was the person selected to buy a gift for a friends B-day. It was agreed that we'll split the price of the gift evenly amongst us gals. The gift was bought and enjoyed. Of the 8 of us, I only got paid from 6 people. Two people still owe me and I know that these are two that can surely afford to pay. I've yet to build the courage to ask them for their share.
In my situation. I was the person selected to buy a gift for a friends B-day. It was agreed that we'll split the price of the gift evenly amongst us gals. The gift was bought and enjoyed. Of the 8 of us, I only got paid from 6 people. Two people still owe me and I know that these are two that can surely afford to pay. I've yet to build the courage to ask them for their share.
Lemme tell you my experience.
Me, a grub junior manager durin gmy first year at work. Him a cruff and schemer. He asks me for $20 (at the time it was a lot of money!) so I lent him. Well he said "lend me".
Well pay day come and go, and him dont say nothing to me (He was a steward by the way, one who washes dishes, cleans the kitchen etc). another payday come and go and I ask him for it. Promises promises. Well another pay day came, I went and way laid him outside the locker room on pay day and I got back my money.
I vowed from then never to lend anybody money ever again, and I haven't. About 4 years after that, one of my subordinates had a death in his family and funds were low. He didn't come out and lend me money, but I was moved to. So I called him, told him it was a gift because I dont lend money anymore.
If I am owed money, I have no problem in saying "was just wondering when you will be able to repay the X that you borrowed from me". The unemployed status now comes in handy, but I dont need to use it because I dont lend peope money.
Me, a grub junior manager durin gmy first year at work. Him a cruff and schemer. He asks me for $20 (at the time it was a lot of money!) so I lent him. Well he said "lend me".
Well pay day come and go, and him dont say nothing to me (He was a steward by the way, one who washes dishes, cleans the kitchen etc). another payday come and go and I ask him for it. Promises promises. Well another pay day came, I went and way laid him outside the locker room on pay day and I got back my money.
I vowed from then never to lend anybody money ever again, and I haven't. About 4 years after that, one of my subordinates had a death in his family and funds were low. He didn't come out and lend me money, but I was moved to. So I called him, told him it was a gift because I dont lend money anymore.
If I am owed money, I have no problem in saying "was just wondering when you will be able to repay the X that you borrowed from me". The unemployed status now comes in handy, but I dont need to use it because I dont lend peope money.
I don't really lend money, I give... I have had the same problems and I don't like the bulls__t. Anyway, the amounts I lend, I don't worry if I get it back, because I can afford to miss it.
I remember one friend from work asked me one day to lend him $10,000 and was shocked when I told him there was no way under the sun that I would lend anyone that. Not to say that people can't get that from me, but only people who I give that to... If I get it back, then I get it back. People like Mom, Natty, my brothers and sisters, my brothers and sisters in law, Dr. D, unhhhh, maybe thats it. People who are really close, you know.
I remember one friend from work asked me one day to lend him $10,000 and was shocked when I told him there was no way under the sun that I would lend anyone that. Not to say that people can't get that from me, but only people who I give that to... If I get it back, then I get it back. People like Mom, Natty, my brothers and sisters, my brothers and sisters in law, Dr. D, unhhhh, maybe thats it. People who are really close, you know.
I lent a small amount of money to a friend 2 weeks ago, on a Tuesday. I had just recieved my last pay after being sacked, and she is in full time work. I thought nothing of it at the time, assuming (ok I am ready for the you are stupid stuff !) that she, as a woman with a job and a partner would honour the agreement. I called her on repayment day and she said was I coming in, I said no, but I would be in on Tuesday and could she please leave the money for me as I would need it by then.. she agreed.
I went to the bar where she worked and asked if she had left anything for me... no was the reply. I called her and she said she did not have the money and I would have to wait until Friday.
When she came in the bar that night I jokingly reminde her of the money I was owed... and then she turned.. she got very nasty and said that if i f...... mentioned to anyone she owed me money she would not repay it at all !!
SUGGESTIONS VERY GRATEFULLY RECIEIVED !! how do I deal with this bitch !!
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I went to the bar where she worked and asked if she had left anything for me... no was the reply. I called her and she said she did not have the money and I would have to wait until Friday.
When she came in the bar that night I jokingly reminde her of the money I was owed... and then she turned.. she got very nasty and said that if i f...... mentioned to anyone she owed me money she would not repay it at all !!
SUGGESTIONS VERY GRATEFULLY RECIEIVED !! how do I deal with this bitch !!
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