Thursday, January 06, 2005


A tale of two Fathers

I have a new cousin.She will turn eleven this March and if I met her in the street I would not know her.Why,you ask? Well,for the almost eleven yrs of her life she was told that a different man was her daddy.Not only was she told that but she was accepted by the man's family and would be there for weekends and vacations etc.

Apparently,my relative let the cat out of the bag by letting villagers know that he is the father of the child.Now the maternal grandparents with whom the child lives are pressing the mother for the truth. Hence the news is about to be revealed to the child.

Now,my grouse is how can you be so irresponsible as to lie to a child and then continue it for so long? According to the mother she was living with Daddy no1 parents and for her survival she had to stick to her story. Ok,fine! But you since moved out,migrated,left your child with your parents(before primary school age) and you never thought you had the ideal opening to clear up the matter? I suppose it is better late than never.

And the sad thing is she may end up without any Daddy.I doubt Daddy no 1 is big enough to continue playing a role in her life.Actually,Mommy claims she already stopped her from going to their house.Then knowing my relative he is not going to play any major part in her life at all.

What a tangled web,eh! And who suffers in all this? Nobody but the innocent child.

Why speak up if not to take full responsibility? Why would he deprive de child ov de only Dad she knows, if not to take de place ov Dad? Honesty is de doorway to accountability; why be honest, if not to be held accountable? This ticks mi off in more ways than you could ever guess, Kami. There's a J'can play called "A Gift for Mom" that talks about a teenage boy who sues his mother for choosing an irresponsible man to be his father. Ov course, de boy's father had long migrated, and was full ov foreign twang when his character was introduced to de audience. (I've heard about de play, but have yet to see it.) De child's mother sounds like a selfish woman. Children suffer when this kinda stuff happens, but more so in de Caribbean where migratin' parents leave their children more confused than ever!
Ditto to Mel's thoughts. He has not only removed the only father that she knows but has also removed the only family that she has known.
He better get ready to take up that slack.
Daddy no 1 may surprize you though. It may take a while to get over the hurt but he may just step up to the plate depending on the bond he had developed.
This kind of thing really pisses me off. We play with the children's head space and then wonder why they behave the way they do.
Tales of another man cuckolded I guess. Mother's baby, Father's maybe. I think mothers do this with the best of intentions but it usually ends up being worse for the child when the truth is finally revealed. Pretty sad.
Agree with all the thoughts.I still don't see why he was so keen on speaking up and he not going to be any kind of father but in name.The child needs to be told the truth but it bound to be rather confusing to her.I just hope she can handle it
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