Monday, January 31, 2005
Sex and Teens
I was supposed to blog about this last week after watching NBC's documentary but I just did not get around to it.Coming out of the documentary was the high level of sexual involvement of teens.Parents watching must have been scared out of their wits as most parents do not like to think that their kids are sexually active.It is really hard being a teenager in today's world though.For starters,you get bombarded daily with countless messages promoting sex.Everywhere the message is being sold subtly and not so subtly.
Of course your parents tell you about the facts of life and how you should conduct yourself.But,still there is the pressure to conform because if everybody is doing it then you want to fit in.Added to that the society sort of tells you that virginity is outdated so teenagers find themselves making decisions about sex before they are fully ready.
I can't say I was shocked at some of the explicit details that came out especially with respect to oral sex.Back when I was in 4th or 5th form I used to get invitations from students to take part in sex parties.In my classrooms even the first formers have some pretty explicit language and some stories of their own.So,am not in denial about what is really happening with young people and the multiple partners that they have.
What then do parents tell children? A lot of parents think that telling their children about contraceptives is encouraging them to get sexually involved.But,knowing that a lot of them are going to do it you may as well educate them about contraceptives.Parents also need to help their children foster a good sense of self esteem because when that is missing they are prone to making foolish decisions.And instead of just telling teens not to have sex educate them about the responsibilty that comes with it.That may just get better results than the flat out orders that do not take into consideration that teens struggle with decisions about sex.
Of course your parents tell you about the facts of life and how you should conduct yourself.But,still there is the pressure to conform because if everybody is doing it then you want to fit in.Added to that the society sort of tells you that virginity is outdated so teenagers find themselves making decisions about sex before they are fully ready.
I can't say I was shocked at some of the explicit details that came out especially with respect to oral sex.Back when I was in 4th or 5th form I used to get invitations from students to take part in sex parties.In my classrooms even the first formers have some pretty explicit language and some stories of their own.So,am not in denial about what is really happening with young people and the multiple partners that they have.
What then do parents tell children? A lot of parents think that telling their children about contraceptives is encouraging them to get sexually involved.But,knowing that a lot of them are going to do it you may as well educate them about contraceptives.Parents also need to help their children foster a good sense of self esteem because when that is missing they are prone to making foolish decisions.And instead of just telling teens not to have sex educate them about the responsibilty that comes with it.That may just get better results than the flat out orders that do not take into consideration that teens struggle with decisions about sex.
# posted by Abeni @ 10:53 AM 
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I dont think you can just tell them don do it without explaining why. You have to explain to them about diseases and preganancy and protection and the maturity that should go with these acts and all that.
But wait, so you kinda skip over the sex parties ya was gettin invite ta. gi we de details :-)
But wait, so you kinda skip over the sex parties ya was gettin invite ta. gi we de details :-)
Jdid...didn't she say she only heard about the stories....or did she???
Well I'm the budding parent of a teenager, actually a man this year as he'll be 18 in some months. So I'm fully aware of the issues we parents face with sex and our teenagers. For me, i told my son in no uncertain terms, the facts of life. not sugar coated with rose colored glasses either, because the ralities of teenage parenthood or AIDS is not sugar coated. It's raw and in your face.
I tried to discourage to hold off until he's older but at the same time educated him, just in case the pressure got too much for him. Another aspect of parenting teenagers is to try to remember when you were your child age and how would you have wanted to be treated or informed.
Well I'm the budding parent of a teenager, actually a man this year as he'll be 18 in some months. So I'm fully aware of the issues we parents face with sex and our teenagers. For me, i told my son in no uncertain terms, the facts of life. not sugar coated with rose colored glasses either, because the ralities of teenage parenthood or AIDS is not sugar coated. It's raw and in your face.
I tried to discourage to hold off until he's older but at the same time educated him, just in case the pressure got too much for him. Another aspect of parenting teenagers is to try to remember when you were your child age and how would you have wanted to be treated or informed.
Good post, Kami. I've always assured mi son that he can ask us any questions he wants to--even if it sounds weird. "No, Piglet, we won't believe you're a perv when we hear your sex-questions if you don't believe we're pervs when yu hear our answers." (lol) He's learnin'. He understands that some kids might have a dysfunctional bond at home, an' they might seek a sexual bond to feel connected. He gets that a secure kid doesn't have to give up de joy ov bein' a kid, an' risk bein' a parent like others do. He also knows about an AIDS patient (on Public TV) who had to spend long hours in a full bathtub because ov a horrid skin condition that came from that disease. Likkle stuff lead to conversation--like hearin' de "Chi Chi Man" song on de radio!
Hi Kami, I didn't see the programme but heard about it from 7 over by The Tower. There was another programme on the Montel Show last week and it was just as graphic. I am scared to think of what else teens are exposed to. They were talking about wearing different colour bands on their wrist and if someone burst the band then the colour signified the act that was to be done whether oral sex or full sex or flashing or.... I mentioned in my comments that some of the teens sounded like experienced hookers. I was literally in shock after the programme.
It is better to wait than involve in it. Trust me.. My experince says that you will regret it in later life. :(
Sex parties, huh? Bwoy, it sounds like my times were realy saff... but wait? I wonder if is what we might call battrey she mean? It sounds like a similar something, except usually the girls not so into the battrey business, whereas sex party sounds like everybody was into it.... Tell us more nuh Abeni, it is interesting indeed...
Mad Bull
Mad Bull
# posted by 
: 9:24 PM
: 9:24 PM
I plan on educating my kids on sex at a fairly young age (think 12 or 13). I'm gonna lay it all out for them. . .tell them about contraceptives. . .stds. . . the emotions that can go along with it. . .abstinence. . etc. And then I'm going to trust my skills as a parent enough to feel that my children will make the right decision when it comes to sex. That doesn't mean the won't do it. . that just means they'll know exactly how to protect themselves.
MB,maybe I used the wrong word but it was boys and girls getting together at a particular house to do their thing.The invitations came from both sexes but since I nevah went you can't get any more details:)
Abeni knows no stories. She is an innocent girl :)
And to the other person... maybe you should try talking of it a little early age... maybe 10? just saying... :) ok
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And to the other person... maybe you should try talking of it a little early age... maybe 10? just saying... :) ok
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