Tuesday, November 23, 2004

 

All for a better life

About 2 weeks ago some young men were charged with the drive by murder of another young man.One of the guys,who is 25 years old is known to me. His mother migrated to the US when he was probably about 9 nine years old leaving him with his paternal grandfather and his older brother with his maternal grandmother.Well,the older brother is serving time in a foreign jail for drug trafficking.So there goes two young lives down the drain.

Closer to home,my neighbour also went to the US leaving behind 4 children.The eldest one had been living with his grandfather while she kept the younger three.Now,these three went through a series of caregivers and in the case of the daughter several homes.Now,each of these four children have done jail time.The daughter is now thinking about going to a neigbouring Caribbean island to work and is thinking of who is she going to leave her children with.

It begs the question what then is a better life or for whom is life better.Yes,the parents say economic conditions force them to migrate to make a life for themselves and their children.Sadly,too often the children are the ones who suffer.Am not necessarily saying that if the parents were there the children would not have had problems.But,when you look at the sort of care some of these children get then you cannot be surprised at how they turn out.

It is a vicious cycle because as long as people feel the better life entails migration then countless children will be left exposed to too many dangers.Also,children and parents become strangers and the clothes or the barrels cannot compensate for lost relationships.I think the price paid is just too high.So it begs another question:A better life at what cost?

Comments:
Life pretty weird huh
 
Hi, very nice blog. You raise a very interesting perspective. In my previous community we had predominantly what we call "barrel children". You are so correct about the degree of care these children receive. In my experience, we had 12 and 13 year olds who came to church and literally screamed for help. Some were abused mostly by relatives. They were literally slaves around the house in repayment for being "kept". I remember one young 14 year old girl who still remains in contact with me to date whom I saw sitting at church some three hours after the doors were closed and everybody had gone home. I stopped and we chatted for hours more. In that time she told me about her circumstances. The long and short is that she was in the care of relatives and she said she was going to be cussed out anyway she may as well enjoy the quiet at church for a while and then go home to take the cussing. Today she is a very strong young lady just about 23 years old and we talk regularly. She was fortunate to have other around who cared when nobody else did. She has gone from hating her mother to a cool appreciation for why she was left to endure, but she is working at it. What about so many others who don't have that support.
Enough blog hijacking. I agree with you and I say we need to examine the implications of our actions. I don't think the financial gain is worth the long term damage that is usually forthcoming.
 
I guess you can also look at it as an example of a society and government failing its people. If the opportunities were available for progress or at least survival for those folks then we would see a decrease in the migration leaving us with more stable families. But where resources are scarce migration becomes one of the few options to get ahead or to just be able to prove for your dependants. Its pretty sad.
 
Scratchie,I agree it is very sad.Not every child whose parents migrate is blessed to have good support systems.So in the absence of these they fall through the cracks and create a whole different set of problems.
 
I think you have all said what needs to be. I agree with all above. Dr. D.
 
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